Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What is a family??

What is is to you or to anyone else that you know? Is it the people who spends time with you the most, the people that gives you comfort whenever youre down or is it just the people that you live with??

For me, i dont know, its really a different story for me, let me explain, I, am the youngest in the family, naturally im the final person to bring up my family name, the one who would leave the final mark in the people that used to know my siblings. I realised the kind of responsibity i hold to succeed in the name of my family.... But my life sucks.... Getting good results for me means a hell lot of scolding, getting first and they say i can do better, doing badly and i would be cursed... There is no praising, or very minute.... This sucks actually when you are motivated by encouragement from people and not scolding.... That is why i have to have in build motivation to encourage myself...

I have parents who says that they are going to get me this and get me that if i get good results, but when i do, they say do better for the next and then you will get it, and in the end, you will never get the reward from them, and you end up saving up and not eating just to save up money to get your own self reward. And for me, when they see my own self reward, they would confiscate it and never give it back to me, NEVER. I would never get to see it as the dustbin would be its friend.

In my family, i am being made to do a lot of things, i really mean a lot. When the f***ing phone is ringing and my brothers are so god damn close to the phone and they do not want to pick it up. I all the way from my room, have to stop whatever im doing just to pick it up. Their reason for not picking up, they would call my handphone... Bullshit. You know they always say, your family is your role model, mine isnt. They tell me to do things that they themselves dont do!!! Thsi is so bloody absurd! Cmon, they say, wash your dishes after you eat, they themselves dont even do it!! and when im washign it, they will say, wash it for me.... Cleanign the house too, when they are made to do housework, they pass it all to me and give a big f***ing smile, but when i do not want to do it for them, they would say, dont touch me , dont disturb me, dont borrow my things and all.... Where is justice when you want it??

When you are pissed with them, they will disturb you like it is no one's business, but when they are pissed, and i just ask one damn qn, they would say shut up and go away and shun me... When i am pissed i start saying things they dont want to hear, and they would say dont be rude, but when they are pissed they slam doors and start shouting and its okay?????? Such bullshit you know, realised i have been very patient with this, but its been getting too far. All im asking is for love and this is what they treat me like? haiz, well enough ranting, might as well live life as it is, and you guys can continue blaming me for the things that happen here or anywhere,
Swiftly Written By Nif at
9:27 PM

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Its time i ask for forgiveness

HEy guys its BEEEEN SOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSO long since i blogged.... IM sorry creator of my blog, Mr WHitey for not updating as often as i could but i have a lot of pressing matters to attend to like my studies and some other personal stuff..... Ill do what i can with this blog when i have the computer in my hand...........

To my family members im sorry its kindda late but selamat hari raya, im sorry for all the things i have done to u guys, i truthfully do not wish to anger u guys anymore......

To my readers, im sorry for not updating as i have stated above my reasons, if it isnt good enough pls ask me more... haha

HAHA well 2 chem practical is over and im psyched up to do my practical!!!!!! It is crazy and i hope i didnt do too shabbly for them.....

To my grandad, i hope u get well very soon, i hate to see my family members in the hosp, ill pray for u everyday irregardless ur okay or not, i wish to see u live long to see my family grow..

Thank you god, for helping my in the course of my life always, i knew i wouldnt be here without u....

I hope tmrw i can go back and start blogging normally then... till tmrw tatas~

Labels: forgive me

Swiftly Written By Nif at
8:42 PM